I ran for the first time in seven months a few weeks ago. IT. WAS. AMAZING. I can't begin to tell you how much I missed it. It calms me. It makes me feel powerful. It is something I need.
In the weeks prior, I focused mainly on walking and working the muscles in my feet to not only prepare for running again but also to see where I was at mentally. Since my accident, I've been really hesitant of taking a misstep and injuring myself again. Having never played sports (former couch potato here), I had no idea the mental effects of experiencing an injury. It's definitely been an internal battle I've been fighting.
One Saturday morning I woke up and said to myself, "Let's do this." I got dressed and headed out to my favorite park around sunrise. I parked my car and looked around me. It brought back all of the butterflies that I feel every time I run. I knew I could do it.
I walked a warm up mile and then alternated running and walking. I decided at first that I would run a mile or two and see how it went. I felt a little pain in my foot where the fracture was, but it soon subsided and I felt great. It was definitely a workout for my lungs, but I knew it was a starting point and could only get better. Three miles later, I had to force myself to stop because I didn't want to overdo it. All of that adrenaline had built up for so long and I just wanted to go, go, go! I slowed it down and walked a cool down mile. Five miles total. Not bad, not bad at all.
I don't know what happened, but it's been a week or two since that run. Maybe it's fear that is keeping me from getting back into the swing of running. Maybe it's the feeling of having to start all over again. Maybe it's the wondering if I'm not really cut out for running. I'm really not sure. Something has felt off. I've felt disconnected.
Something changed when I watched the Boston Marathon Monday morning. I've watched it in the past and have always felt super inspired. That feeling was there again this week. The energy of that race is amazing and actually gave me butterflies. It made me feel inspired to go out and run again. It's great to see the elite runners do what they do best, but it's also awe inspiring to see all of the runners accomplish a goal they've been working so hard for and dreamed of for so long.
I've definitely had some setbacks, but I can't let it stop me from accomplishing a dream. I want to be a runner. I can be a runner. I will be a runner again.